Now it's a pattern.

At first, I didn't agree w/ Bill's observation that GpaK doesn't like it when I fall asleep on the couch. He's woken me up a few times but I wasn't sure it was deliberate. Now I agree, it's deliberate and it's a pattern.

Thanksgiving Day, at my sister's lovely home, we enjoyed a mellow, delicious Thanksgiving experience. We watched football, had dinner, went for a walk, then sat in front of the fire. Uncharacteristically, I fell asleep. Shortly after, I awoke to GpaK poking me and asking me to wake up. I said sleepily "what, are you ready to leave?" Bill intervened: "Karl, why did you wake her up?" GpaK replied angrily "She asked if I was ready to go! Now she's going to DENY it!" That was kind of funny.

Last night, similar situation. I made us a tasty dinner which we enjoyed with some good wine. When I dozed on the couch, GpaK decided it was bedtime and woke me up to ask if I would be helping him at bedtime (which I do 99% of the time). I did. Not that funny. Good grief.

Busted: Your Salami Stash is Toast

Over the past few weeks, GpaK has had trouble breathing in the middle of the night - classic symptoms of Congestive Heart Failure (CHF) where the body retains fluid (usually because of sodium) and the fluid ends up backing up into the lungs, causing difficulty breathing. As a result, GpaK has used oxygen to help him get through the night.

How can this be? I am careful with sodium, we don't add salt to anything, and his caregiver is careful too. Then I found it - in the back of the crisper - a package of sliced salami. Matt (my son) then mentioned that GpaK routinely roles up salami with cheese and has it as a snack around 5pm (just a few minutes before I get home). Mystery solved, Salami gone. Can't wait to confront this with GpaK and his "care giver'. Sooooo busted.

Is this really funny or are we weirdos?

We had the conversation below over dinner last night.

I wonder if you will think this is funny when you read it (it was pretty funny when Bill and I re-enacted it later. )

Me: "Hey - Guess what! The orchid in my office is going to bloom!"
GpaK "Whaaah?"
Me: "My orchid. On my desk. It's going to bloom!"
GpaK "Your whaaa?"
Me: "My orchid on my desk at work is going to bloom."
GpaK: "I don't understand what you're saying - your desk is going to bloom?"
Me: "No. my orchid. at work. is probably going to bloom . . ."
GpaK: "Oh. You sure have a knack with orchids."
I wish my orchid were dead.

Things people tell me . . .

I bought a used cell phone from a woman at work today. I don't know her well but have met her a few times.

In 4 minutes she told me the following:

• Her 32 year-old daughter is in grad school and moving in w/ her
  


• The daughter recently had a job babysitting for 3 children of a physician whose husband beat her and the kids (it was caught on tape at a COUNTRY CLUB!)
  


• Candy's ex husband hasn't seen his daughter since she was 4 and didn't even support her financially, even when the daughter had CANCER
  


• Her ex has made more than $150,000 per year for the last 10-12 years!
  


• Her ex emailed her the other day asking "what should I say when people ask me if I have children?" Candy replied . . .(long nonsensical rant) and he said "You sound bitter." She said "No, I AM bitter."
  


• Her daughter will probably make $75 or $80,000 / year when she finishes grad school
  


• Marketing people are cut-throat
  


• Her daughter does waxing on the side (which was surprising since she lives w/ her mom . . . )

The Stars Are Aligned!

My right-wing nut job father living under my roof and we're entering . . . . . ELECTION YEAR!